I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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