The best revenge is premature balding
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
