How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
