i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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