I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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