so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
