IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
