She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
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I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
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He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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