no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
