just tell him i said nine months
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
