youre lurking in front of me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
This couple is walking their pig around campus
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I was not drunk enough for that final.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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