I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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