If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
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