the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
