Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize