My brain says no but my pants say off.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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