HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
