I am puke
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize