so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
