I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
