Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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