Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left an ass print on the piano.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize