Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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