how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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