just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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