forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
