Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
well you can't waste a boner
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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