i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Randomize
