Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
