Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
this will be a night to untag.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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