i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
