Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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