4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
