Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize