Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I believe in your delicious
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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