How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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