She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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