So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
