hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
