We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
