She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
