Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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