32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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