Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
