Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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