Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
