the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize