I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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