if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
