so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
