Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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