the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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