I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
